It's been a long five years together, but I think we're finally moving in different directions. We've come a long way since those early days when I only gave you 12 hrs a week and you only gave me a closet desk and endless keywording. And remember that day when we decided to go steady full-time? You loved me enough to rescue me from the temp agency and give me a few drawers at your place. I'll always remember the special times we had together. That time you took me to the CPS Print Show, the smoked turkey you gave me every Christmas, and the occasional design jobs from Gifts.
But it wasn't all turkeys and print shows. You were so afraid of commitment, it took you three years to offer me a permanent place in your life. You often overlooked me and took me for granted, and I'm pretty sure you tried to poison me with that coffee in the break room. I'll try to only remember all the good things, but I know I'll think of you every time my carpal tunnel flares up.
So this is the end of the road. I know it hurts now, but you'll get on just fine without me, and eventually you'll even forget about me. You can still call me from time to time if you want to give me design jobs, but please don't bring up any non-design work. That part of my life is over, and you need to let me move on.