Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Blogging, Writes, and KC Life

There are other ways of reading my blog besides coming to this website. You can subscribe to the RSS feed at the bottom of the page, or I can add you to a list of people who will get my new posts emailed to them. I know several of you received emails when I updated my Xanga blog, so I thought you might like that option here, too. Just send me your email address and I'll add you to that list.

I just thought of another great name for my blog: Writes of a Military Wife. Too late to change the name though. And after next year I won't have that military angle to my blog anyways. That's right, we only have about a year left with the Marines!

I wish Bryan could share all my Kansas City experiences. He said I should send him photos of everything I do and everywhere I go so he can picture my life here. (too easy pun) So today Flora and I went out with camera in tow and documented the following places that I frequent: two coffee shops within two miles of the house, a drive-through with the best frozen custard ever, the closest post office which happens to be in a strip mall, my new bank that I chose based on its attractive exterior, the convenient Quick Trip that highlights many a weekend with coffee and donuts, and the slightly overpriced hometown grocery store. It's not too exciting, but that's pretty much the extent of everything I do in KC. Eventually I'll have to get a picture of the Apple Store for him because I'm definitely dragging his PC booty into one of those. Maybe I'll call ahead so they can have an intervention prepared.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

May 20—Happy Anniversary

Another anniversary, another absent husband. Saying it that way makes him sound like a deadbeat, but he's far from it. Our first anniversary he was stationed in Japan. Today, our second anniversary, he is deployed to Iraq. In the past 24 months of our marriage, we've only spent 8 months living together. That's two-thirds of our marriage that we've been separated against our wills. It sucks, but thank God for web cams! Despite our unusual situation we have a terrific relationship. (Thanks in large part to the five years of dating before the wedding.) Happy anniversary, Bryan! May we be ever as in love and never as separated as our first two years of marriage.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Today's Translations

What was said: "I don't hate it enough to custom order."
What I heard: "I don't hate it enough to cuss or murder."

What was said: "It's your dress destiny."
What I heard: "It's your dresstiny."

What was said: "Sara, you need a beer."
What I heard: "Sara, you need a beard."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Petition to Establish a Baby-Name Approval Committee

I just discovered an old church bulletin folded up in my desk drawer. These usually find their way to trash, but this one was worth keeping because of the notes I wrote on the back of it. Although I've been known to jot down key sermon phrases and insights of my own, this particular Sunday I was completely distracted by all the crazy names I found in the hymnal. (I know, slap my hand for not paying attention. It happens.) There were some real gems in there, and I spent nearly the whole service writing them down so I could share them with others. Here are just a few of the first names of people who contributed to the hymns in that book: Ethelbert, Horatius, Adoniram, Baynard, Judson, Elvina, Almeda, Folliott, Rigdon, and Sylvanus.

Recently my sister showed me a page from the newspaper with the names of all the babies born in the local hospital in 2007. It seems that unusual names are not just a thing of the past, but they're here to stay. Some of my favorites from the 2007 baby names were: Paradise, Dreamy, Fabiola, Fabian, Seraphina, Jericho, Tennessee, Gozlyn, and Heydy.

If any of these names belong to you or a relative, please do not take offense. Parents have the privilege of choosing any name for their baby, and I have some respect for people who stick to a name they like even after negative feedback from family and friends. Anyways, I named my pets oddly (Suki and Avee) so I might be the one someday who wants to name a child Ethelbert. But if that happens, please ambush me with an intervention for the sake of the child.

And I really hope that this "Dreamy" kid is a girl.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Scribbles are Overrated

What's so bad about coloring inside the lines? It seems that the trend now is to applaud those who recklessly color with abandon and pity those who contain themselves within the lines. I don't know who first told me to stay inside the lines--probably my big sister--but I obeyed and I was very good at it. Occasionally creativity compelled me outside those lines when I decided that Minnie Mouse needed some flowers at her feet or that the little pony needed a pond and some hills in the background, but it was always very calculated and intentional.

The other day I decided to revive my youth with a coloring book and some crayons from the store. I set Flora down to watch me color. (She was fascinated, but she kept trying to convince me that those colorful sticks would serve a better purpose inside her mouth.) It was very relaxing to color again. But suddenly my fingers got a little too wild and a small loop of purple stretched just outside that little black line. I felt the instant guilt of ruining the perfect picture that I was working on. I can't help it. Call me a perfectionist or a control-freak, but I still like coloring inside the lines. I'm sure that small fact could explain a lot about me.

Regardless of your coloring habits around "the lines", I highly recommend spending $3 to experience the joys of coloring again. However, I do not recommend Crayola Glitter Crayons. They're pretty in theory, but not in functionality.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Take Me Out to the Ballgame David Cook!

This ranks as my best Kansas City experience so far. Yesterday American Idol finalist David Cook came to KC for his big "hometown visit". We all got tickets to the Royals game so we could hear him sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". I came prepared with my mental lists of Do's and Don'ts. DO ask David Cook to marry my friend in Africa (per her request). DON'T flash David Cook (per my husband's request). And DO take lots of pictures (because you wouldn't believe me otherwise).

Here are the occupants of Section 319, Row G, Seats 10-12. Not pictured: Chris Borkert.

I thought it necessary to also document that Jim Halpert is leading a double life as a professional baseball player.

Then came David Cook! Yaaaayyyy! Wait a minute, David what are you doing to your baseball cap? David, no! Nooooo...

Flora was definitely the most excited about seeing David Cook.

He sang. We screamed. I forgot about my mental list of Do's and Don'ts. It was the best 7th inning ever.

Eight Months in Iraq=Eight Months in KC

Kansas City. It's frigid. Avee and I do not like the cold. But I really enjoy living with my sister. I'd like it even better if Bryan were living here with me. Then it'd be like that cheesy spin-off of the Brady Bunch when Marcia and Jan lived in a house together with their husbands. But a sit-com life would be much better than a war-movie/Odyssey life. The role of Penelope is way overrated. More than anything though I'm really enjoying being just five minutes away from a Quick Trip. I get coffee there a few times a week. In the evenings we all watch American Idol or the latest season on dvd that my sister brought from the library (right now we have McGyver, Saved by the Bell, and Home Improvement). And on very special nights we all play Scrabble and drink Hard Mike's. Well, it really doesn't take a very special night to break out the Hard Mikes. I haven't done much shopping. Hopefully Stef and I will go to the plaza this weekend. I've been to their church twice, and I know I should be totally immersed in a ministry by now, but I'm not. I have no good excuse for that. I'm quite the sourpuss at church b/c it makes me miss Bryan a lot more. Maybe I'll volunteer for the nursery sometime. Kids are a lot easier to befriend than grown-ups.

Xanga: June 6, 2007: Upon Leaving DaySpring

Dear DaySpring,

It's been a long five years together, but I think we're finally moving in different directions. We've come a long way since those early days when I only gave you 12 hrs a week and you only gave me a closet desk and endless keywording. And remember that day when we decided to go steady full-time? You loved me enough to rescue me from the temp agency and give me a few drawers at your place. I'll always remember the special times we had together. That time you took me to the CPS Print Show, the smoked turkey you gave me every Christmas, and the occasional design jobs from Gifts.

But it wasn't all turkeys and print shows. You were so afraid of commitment, it took you three years to offer me a permanent place in your life. You often overlooked me and took me for granted, and I'm pretty sure you tried to poison me with that coffee in the break room. I'll try to only remember all the good things, but I know I'll think of you every time my carpal tunnel flares up.

So this is the end of the road. I know it hurts now, but you'll get on just fine without me, and eventually you'll even forget about me. You can still call me from time to time if you want to give me design jobs, but please don't bring up any non-design work. That part of my life is over, and you need to let me move on.

Sara K.

Xanga: April 24, 2007: Survive the Workplace

How to Survive the Workplace

1. Know that there will always be someone who dresses nicer than you every day. Likewise, there will always be someone who dresses worse. Don't fret over bad hair days or bad outfit days. They happen, and they'll be forgotten.

2. We all fall prey to this one, but do not--I repeat--do not become attached to any writing utensil! They're an unfaithful breed who will walk away from you at the first opportunity. Become attached to them and you'll find yourself saying, "Is that my pen you're using? I used to have one like that; it was my favorite. Did you steal my pen??" uh... awkward.

3. The standard free office coffee generally tastes like dog food. You want to become a part of the secret underground coffee club at work. I guarantee every office has such a club and that they're hiding a beautiful, dark Ethiopian blend somewhere in the building. I'm not making this stuff up. If you suspect you've found a club member, use words like "fair trade", "my espresso maker", and "bur grinder". Complain enough about the break-room coffee and you'll be invited to the club.

4. Join up with one or two people and institute Rude Fridays. On Rude Friday do your best to be cynical and insulting. This works best when the cynicism and insults are obviously in jest. You should also make sure you do it with someone as sweet and soft-spoken as Mel; that makes it extra-funny. It's a great way to relieve stress and makes for very fun Fridays.

Xanga: April 18, 2007: Why I Blog

My Bryan said:
"I would fall in love with you even if I had never met you, just from reading your xanga posts. I love them cause they are entirely you. Everything about you is contained in them. I feel like I'm sitting in the room talking to you when I read them."

Often I question the worth of continuing xanga when only a few people read it, but if I can make my husband thousands of miles away feel like he's sitting in a room talking with me, well, that makes it all worth it. This one (and every one after) is for you, Sweetie! *mmwaa!*

And here's a special Happy Citrus shout-out to the lady at work who went to Sonic today and brought me back a lemon-berry slush. Spectacular.

Xanga: October 4, 2006: Daddy's Kisses

The scene: A father and daughter in a college art gallery on opening night. The role of the daughter will be played by Sara and the role of the father will be played by Daddy.

Daddy: (whispers) "What do you think that guy would do if I kissed him right now?"

Sara: (looks at the group of students and both wonders which guy he's talking about and why in the world he's asking her this question)

Daddy: (a mischeivous grin)

Sara: "???"

Daddy: (realizes Sara is wondering why in the world he's asking her this question) "His shirt..."

Sara: (realizes the several moments of trying to figure out Daddy's comment was wasted because the latino guy's shirt quite obviously says "Kiss me I'm Irish")

Daddy & Sara: "lol"

Xanga: Sept 2, 2006: Laptop Suicide

Sadly, I regret to inform you that this morning at 10:34 a.m. Mac dropped off the coffee table in a gruesome suicide attempt. I was not immediately alarmed as Mac has jumped off this ledge before and escaped without harm (he tries to follow me whenever I walk away, no doubt suspicious of my relationship with the PC in the other room). However, today was different. After the fall (which was a slow 15-inch drop) I picked him up and quickly realized that this was not just another attempt to follow me into the other room. Mac had strategically landed with all his small weight on his power supply plug; it was a blatant attack on his own life. If you can stomach the gorey details, the metal cylindrical frame of his plug was bent out in two directions and the rod inside was broken. On Mac himself, his aluminum frame was dented next to the power outlet and the rod inside the outlet was also broken. At the present time, Mac is still in critical condition.

Please send your flowers and notes for Mac to my address and I'll make sure he gets them. I'll also see that he gets counseling for his jealousy after he is fully recovered from this ordeal.


Xanga: May 9, 2006: Post-JBU Goals

No more JBU. Here are my new goals to keep myself from becoming brain-dead after college:

• Become an Adobe Certified Expert. The tests for this are really hard, but I'm up for the challenge just to have that title. I think I'll start with the InDesign test.

• Read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Since the dustcover is in my portfolio I should have some thoughtful thing to say about it when I show it to potential employers.

• Cook dinner twice a week. I think it's best to approach this cooking thing slowly.

• Join a Bible study or home cell group with somebody I don't like. It will force me to find some good in them and maybe even help me grow spiritually.

• Read a book about Okinawa/Japan. Ideally this would be done at Barnes & Noble over a cup of Marbled Mocha Macchiato *before* I move there. (Move to Japan, not B & N)

• Train for a 5k. It's been way too long since I've done one of those. Right now I can only run a single puny mile. Anyone want to do this one with me?

• Keep in touch with friends. It's sad, but this has been really hard for me in the past. Kinda like Xanga, I pretend we're still involved, but the reality is I haven't updated since I can't remember when.

• Be on a reality tv show. I don't think this will better me in any way, but it would be nice to have a room redecorated or my ride pimped. American Idol also could be fun. Maybe they'd like me if I did all my performances rolling around on the floor.

• Write a book. This book will either be about graphic design, long-distance relationships, or how stupid, unfair, ridiculous, perverted, and dominating a certain branch of the military is. Right now I'm leaning toward graphic design.

• Sell photos on iStock.com. Freakin' harder than it sounds.

• Convince a lady at work that I'm better than her at everything and I know infinitely more than she does. That would be nice. Maybe then I'd get some r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

• Become ambidextrous, really. I've been working on this one for about a year and a half now. I'm convinced it can be a learned trait.

• Work somewhere other than DS. It's just like Siloam. A great and wonderful place to be, but it sucks you in and eventually you have the urge to get as far away from it as you can.

Xanga: Dec 5, 2005: Personal Quirks

I've been Xanga-tagged so now I have to create a list of my personal quirks. Here goes:

1) I'm scared of ocean waves.

2) I had braces but never wanted them. When I was in junior high I bluntly told my dentist that God made my teeth crooked and if he wanted them straight then he could do it without braces.

3) Almost a year ago I decided I should be ambidextrous. I began taking notes in class and at work with my left hand. Now I can easily write with both hands, though my right is still more fluid. Side effect: slight dyslexia.

4) I get the urge to use the undo key command in life (control/command + z). Like if I set down a paper in the wrong place my mind tells my fingers to click the undo sequence.

5) My thumbs are double-jointed. I can make them move funny.

6) I have a gift for always choosing the wrong line to get in. If there's a line that's destined to move slower than all others—I'll find it.

7) There are only two books that I have read more than once: Pride & Prejudice and A Horse Called Lightning.

8) Sometimes I get hot chocolate at work just because I like the sound that the machine makes.

Rough Draft

This blog is a test; it is only a test. If it were a real blog, it would contain wit, allegories, and voluntary comments. Do not be alarmed. This test is brief, and will be followed by real, actual blogs. Please stayed tuned.