Those P:31 Girls

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her, --not to cheat at Monopoly
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. --Except that one day she accidentally shot a nail gun at his foot which was probably his fault anyway for standing so close...

13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship, --wait, is he calling her fat??
bringing her food from afar. --oh...
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. --Ahh, so that's the secret. God, if you want me to be a virtuous wife I'm going to need some servant girls, pronto. This is probably why we don't see any mention of the virtuous wife cleaning her house.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard. --This girl is big on investments! When was the last time you bought something that could generate more income for you? Does a Mac and Adobe Suite count??
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker. --"Energetic." Proof that the virtuous wife drinks coffee.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night. --Cutting coupons, no doubt.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber. --crafty lady!
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads. --Note to self: make a bedspread.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. --Proof that God wants me to go shopping and buy pretty things! (It doesn't SAY that she spun & dyed the thread before hand-stitching the gown herself... she could've bought it!)
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders. --Is an awesome husband required to be a virtuous wife? I suppose she was first a virtuous girl with many offers of marriage who made a discerning decision. She don't want no scrubs.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants. --Obviously a professional in her field. Probably sells on Etsy, too.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, --Where has all the dignity gone?
and she laughs without fear of the future. --Laughter required. Worrying banned.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness. --With kindness, not shouts, rolling eyes, and exasperated sighs.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness. --Which reminds me of a project I need to finish...

28 Her children stand and bless her. --Do nieces/nephews count? Because those Borkert kids think I'm pretty cool.
Her husband praises her: --Bryan, are you getting this??
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; --and plastic surgery looks fake;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. --Reward her? Ok, Bryan, I like gift cards, shopping sprees, date nights, flowers, Bliss cupcakes...

Blogging, Writes, and KC Life

There are other ways of reading my blog besides coming to this website. You can subscribe to the RSS feed at the bottom of the page, or I can add you to a list of people who will get my new posts emailed to them. I know several of you received emails when I updated my Xanga blog, so I thought you might like that option here, too. Just send me your email address and I'll add you to that list.

I just thought of another great name for my blog: Writes of a Military Wife. Too late to change the name though. And after next year I won't have that military angle to my blog anyways. That's right, we only have about a year left with the Marines!

I wish Bryan could share all my Kansas City experiences. He said I should send him photos of everything I do and everywhere I go so he can picture my life here. (too easy pun) So today Flora and I went out with camera in tow and documented the following places that I frequent: two coffee shops within two miles of the house, a drive-through with the best frozen custard ever, the closest post office which happens to be in a strip mall, my new bank that I chose based on its attractive exterior, the convenient Quick Trip that highlights many a weekend with coffee and donuts, and the slightly overpriced hometown grocery store. It's not too exciting, but that's pretty much the extent of everything I do in KC. Eventually I'll have to get a picture of the Apple Store for him because I'm definitely dragging his PC booty into one of those. Maybe I'll call ahead so they can have an intervention prepared.

Xanga: Sept 2, 2006: Laptop Suicide

Sadly, I regret to inform you that this morning at 10:34 a.m. Mac dropped off the coffee table in a gruesome suicide attempt. I was not immediately alarmed as Mac has jumped off this ledge before and escaped without harm (he tries to follow me whenever I walk away, no doubt suspicious of my relationship with the PC in the other room). However, today was different. After the fall (which was a slow 15-inch drop) I picked him up and quickly realized that this was not just another attempt to follow me into the other room. Mac had strategically landed with all his small weight on his power supply plug; it was a blatant attack on his own life. If you can stomach the gorey details, the metal cylindrical frame of his plug was bent out in two directions and the rod inside was broken. On Mac himself, his aluminum frame was dented next to the power outlet and the rod inside the outlet was also broken. At the present time, Mac is still in critical condition.

Please send your flowers and notes for Mac to my address and I'll make sure he gets them. I'll also see that he gets counseling for his jealousy after he is fully recovered from this ordeal.

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